Physician Burnout- Our Mental Load

We talk about unseen mental load as mothers.

There is an invisible mental load of being a physician too. 

We are simultaneously held to a high standard and yet sometimes given shockingly little respect.

We are simultaneously held to a high standard and yet sometimes given shockingly little respect. Physicians are the face of the medical team and sometimes expected to know a crushing amount of minutiae that would preclude us doing tasks that are unique to our skill set. 

Patients interestingly expect their doctors to know which branch of the pharmacy they (out of all other patients) wanted to switch their prescription to. Why a specialty pharmacy found fault with your 90 day prescription. Why a CT scan that was already prior authorized at one location cannot “just” be re-ordered to another one day prior to the study.

At the same time, you are aware of a whole dance of sorts. The patient who cancelled the appointment who really shouldn’t have cancelled (mental note to message office to call them). A patient who has an unread patient portal message about a lab result needs to be followed up by phone call instead (next time, we should just call them). A refill that should not go out just yet because the patient last told you the medication is actually note working (needs an appointment this week to discuss options).

You are juggling a prior authorization phone call appointment, a meeting with your research coordinator, and you owe your department chair a reply about an offer for a new committee position. Oh, and there is a rotating resident who is seeing patients with you, which is lovely, except you know that you won’t have downtime to call anyone back or write your notes in between patients.

It is easy to feel that, as a physician, you’re out to people-please and appease a customer rather than diagnose, treat and heal a patient.

It is easy to feel that, as a physician, you’re out to people-please and appease a customer rather than diagnose, treat and heal a patient. Rather than use your energy and time to make diagnostic and treatment decisions for the patient,  you end up searching the EMR for the correct pharmacy. I find myself asking, Is this why I did all these years of training? So I could make sure that fax was sent on time? So I could be chastised for holding my crying baby after I return an after hours urgent call to address dissatisfaction with my secretary? To quickly fill out a school note instead of comforting my own child while she is screaming at the doctor’s office? To constantly justify why I do not have patient appointment slots at 5 or 5:30 or weekends. 

Because on an online review, a patient might say, she is not responsive to requests for school notes. It may say, sent prescription to the wrong pharmacy or never has an after school appointment open. This doctor is a young mother who does not have the bandwidth and time to fully address my concerns. She even has the gall to call a patient back with her own crying baby in the background.

For the moms out there, we are truly expected to work as if we aren’t mothers and mother as if we don’t work. There is layer upon layer of burnout and unseen mental load.

Oh but we see each other, don’t we? Physician moms. Let us let each other know. We are seen. We are understood and we are supported. There is a time for culture shift and radical change, but there is time for quiet (or not) commiseration. This feels like a good time.