Family Holiday Traditions
When we started a family, I didn’t put much thought into intentional incorporation of rituals and traditions with our children. While my parents were not intentional and certainly not sentimental, there were traditions that they implemented, whether intended or not. Christmas tree decorating shortly after Thanksgiving, playing Christmas hymns with the lights on low, and always the highlight, holiday meals with the extended family.
The holiday meals are always what I think fondly back on. A choreographed dance, sometimes clashing, often brilliant, between American, Chinese and Korean cultures. The turkey was always center stage- a few years even with a deep-fried turkey from my cousin’s days while stationed in Texas. Typically, there is a glistening glutinous rice with fragrant Chinese sausage and shiitake mushrooms in addition to traditional savory cornbread stuffing. My cousin’s wife would make sweet potato casserole, again from their days in Texas. But there was always my dad’s braised pork shoulder, one aunt’s spicy Taiwanese noodles, another aunt’s tokbokki, several braised, sauteed and stir fried vegetables, and usually a steamed fish with ginger, scallion and soy sauce. There was a period where we would always get a catered platter of sushi and maki rolls. Always a soup- bone broth and seaweed or silky egg strands and corn or the Italian wedding soup that my cousin made one year.
Then there was the year I first introduced my then-boyfriend now-husband to the family, my uncle greeted him with “Would you like a margarita? Or guacamole? I made guacamole, you should try it!” (My husband was stunned and took a margarita from my jovial Chinese uncle.) Around that time, my cousins started arranging charcuterie and cheese board and brie en croute. Recently, there has been the appearance of farro salad or quinoa.
We have the tradition of the White Elephant gift exchange with, initially two generations, and now three generations of the family, peppered with cheeky banter and hilarity, slipping from English to Mandarin to Taiwanese and Fujianese, the highlight of every Christmas gathering. And now we are carrying forward these traditions, and forming new ones. The newest generation of cousins Christmas sleepover with (almost) matching pajamas. Christmas Eve morning brunch, playing and rolling into Christmas Eve dinner with the extended family.
For my husband and two kids, we have started a tradition of getting a fresh Christmas tree each year. Decorating together, playing Christmas music, placing the star on top. We have been doing a version of the advent calendar that does not involve sweets- such as toys telling the nativity story or “advent acts of kindness”. We will wear those Christmas pajamas they share with their cousins. We will light scented candles and go to see beautifully decorated trees in museums and storefronts. We will FaceTime when opening gifts on Boxing Day. When they are a little bit older, I will start doing service projects with them this time of year (and hopefully other times of year as well).
These are just some of the reflections and inspirations I have for remembering and creating traditions with my family around the holidays, preserving all the quirks of my history and expanding as we discover ourselves as a new family unit.
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