Quiet Quitting My Way
The nanny just called out sick. I have 4 committee meeting presentations this week, am on call, precepting in clinic and have to pack for vacation and organize gifts for all the upcoming gift exchanges and holiday tips. But these are the days that I wonder why we expend this much effort to facilitate a work life that I care exceedingly little for. Why I have so much trouble saying no, when I am really apathetic. I was not able to bring myself to enter the ranks of quiet quitters but yet I realize I must for my own sanity and the well-being of my family.
Last week, I had to arrange a complicated childcare coverage for a last-minute request to present in front of my department for a conference. A conference that is oft canceled or rescheduled, but for some reason, asking me with 3 weeks’ notice with one week or vacation and Christmas and New Year’s in between, oddly, was not dispensable any more. Should I have said no? Perhaps. But as always, in some backwards way, this may contribute to my career advancement and so surely, it is wise to say yes, no? In this recent mindset shift, now I am prioritizing my goals instead of the wishes of my employer, is how I’m embracing this silent protest of quiet quitters.
The only thing keeping me in this job is the financial obligation to my family. I still have student loan debt and our family expenses are high mostly by virtue of our location in a very high cost of living city. I have been thinking about pivoting to another job or diversifying my income stream for nearly 5 years, but only now am I letting myself explore practice steps. Reading books, listening to podcasts, joining Facebook groups of those who have taken this journey, the quitters, the quiet and the not-so-much.
I go above and beyond. I am a people pleaser. I have many responsibilities which do not generate income and for which I am uncompensated. This is the norm in my field, be a team player, part of good company citizenship, contribute for some notion of professional prestige, the dues for career promotion. But the bottom line is, I need to pay rent and put food on the table. I have been practicing delayed gratification since my teens. Now, in my early 40s, I finally feel the permission to put my own needs first.
Quiet quitting means for me to disengage from my identity as a working professional and to look at the requirements of my job and execute them and them alone. I will no longer use my evenings to complete work that can be done the following day. I will no longer make myself available for meetings at 7 am or 6 pm (or later). I will evaluate my committee membership and leadership roles and make plans to step down from those that fill my time with busy work and do not add to my income. I will use my free time now for nurturing myself and my dreams instead of those of my company. I will carve out personal time as well as strategic time for growth in areas other than my current field, areas which could help me pivot to a job more in line with my current life goals. In the mindset of quiet quitting, I am giving myself permission to remove myself as a cog in the wheel, recognize my self-worth, identify my dreams again and pursue them accordingly, and view my job truly as what it is- just a job, not my identity.
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